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1. ALIEN VS MUM

   12/14/09 08:44:40 | 2 Comments

   Alien has grown so much over the last few months now standing at around 5ft 10 inches and wearing a size 10 shoe.
   
   The hair curly and long to the shoulders and has developed spots on the chin and a rather dark Caterpillar across the top lip.
   
   Alien to mums annoyance still shuffles around the home grunting replies and acting deaf when mum wants him to do anything, the attitude on the alien has changed some what to mums dismay now its the don't care do what i want attitude .
   
   Mum looks at her alien child trying to peer into his eyes and work out what is going on in that alien mush that represents a brain but the aliens eyes have become dark and blank like most of his alien friends. No longer wishing to communicate in grunts and groans that only alien parents can understand now it seems only the alien friends understand , they now seem to shuffle around hands in pockets and nodding like nodding dogs in the back of a car. life with the alien has started to become a rather strained affair , talking to alien only seems to get more shoulder shrugs and grunts and the the wires being pushed firmly back into the ever deepening holes that once represented ears.
   
   Aliens of this age seem to think they are now adults and can do and say what they want and alien parents should understand which to alien parents is rather a confusing time and cant make the aliens understand that while they live under there roof and are under 18 they will do as the alien parents want , it seems a war of grunts groans and words have now decended on the home along with phone callls and txt messages for other baffled alien parents .
   
   Mum stands away and look at the alien with determination that on some things she will win and wont back down on , she knows that all aliens need to grow and learn from there mistakes but there are some mistakes that she will make sure she will win with every time.
   
   Every weekend alien leaves the home to shuffle up the road to another alien friends house only returning to pick up sleeping bag and pillows and his x-box , it runs up the stairs with speed thats not seen all week , runs back down and grunts something on way out of house. Mum has grown acustomed to this normal alien activity neaver once thinking to check that he was going where he said he was going.
   
   Over the last couple of weeks the alien has changed and mum has cought him several times like saying he was staying up alien friends only to return the next morning early cold and damp and then mum discovers he has been camoing out, ok thats normal behavour for alien boys of this age but then finds that girls also camped wth them .
   
   Mum becomes warey of the things alien tells her but lets things go as daddy says leave him alone its all normal until THIS WEEKEND aahhhhhh alien has left mum devastated at his lies and behaviour if 18 well it would be accseptable.
   
   Mum received the normal hard to understand phone call of "im staying up alien friends" ok that's fine best you come get your stuff , the reply and noise meant mum was guarded and decided to check up on him. Alien friends parents said all good they had gone to another alien friends going away party. OK nothing to worry about until the morning when txts and calls as to where other aliens were or stayed made aliens mum realise that an all night house party was what had gone on.
   
   Alien returned home with rather a cocky attitude until mum went to his level and grunted " good night was it oh and don't Deni it you stayed out at an all night party " aliens eyed looked at her in a look that only a scared rabbit who had been hit by a flash of light could look it was the omg how does she know and omg I'm in sooooo much trouble look.
   
   Mum had decided that shouting and ranting would not be appropriate at this time but the i know talk and the I'm not talking to you know for letting me down .
   
   After much grunting mum decided the best action was to ground the alien until xmas this was not done with out lots of thinking first as any alien parent knows have ones alien lounging and moaning drives the parents nutts but on this occasion his sorry little butt was hers , putty in her hands , no more wires rudly pertruding from holes in head , or game controlers in hand , no more pretending he playiong a game and cant hear her, he was at her mercy.
   
   Its seems to have worked well as the alien has suddenly become domestic and able to make own breakfast and cups of tea, he does dishes and makes bed and omg has realise taking a shower and using soap wont kill him .
   
   For all aliens out there the moral of this is .............. MUM WINS every-time.lol

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2. THE PET OF NO PURPOSE

   12/14/09 08:42:05 | 3 Comments

   We now have a new pet to which i have names The pet of no purpose.
   
   The new pet lives in a tank and slimes all over it , it don't talk or cuddle up to you , it requires very little looking after all its needs is........
   
   1, a little water sprayed into tank every other day
   
   2, the soil changed every couple of weeks
   
   3, lettuce, cucumber bananas, apples every other day or so
   
   4, cuttle fish
   
   And that it , his name is Gary reportedly from sponge bob, we acquired this pet when my middle son stayed at my sister in-laws and fell in love with it (why is beyond me but it takes all sorts i suppose)
   
   I hear you ask what is this pet on no purpose well i shall tell you
   
   Its a LARGE AFRICAN LAND SNAIL.

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